So, I'm in a learning process in my own life lately. While not strictly related to pets, I've realized that this process is related, no matter the subject.
A little background - my parents are elderly. I am the youngest kid (of 8 kids, 7 still living) and my siblings are all in their 50s, while I am in my 30s. This makes my parents much older than most people my age. My dad is 78, and my mom is 77.
While they both have their mental capabilities still, their physical bodies are starting to fail them. My dad has had many back surgeries (about 10 I think) and he is just about unable to walk as of now. The only reason he is still walking is because he is incredibly stubborn! My mom has aged a lot more quickly than my dad, and we've found out that she has a shrinking cerebellum which is causing big mobility issues for her. It's affecting her balance, and she has fallen numerous times lately - most recently breaking four ribs.
With all of this, I have been helping them consider their options for a possible move into an assisted living facility. Whew. This is a confusing process, with so many things that need research and figuring. There are MANY factors in this process that I knew nothing about when we started. And though I've gathered much info, there are still things I don't know! But, we're getting close to finalizing some plans, and I think we've come up with the best possible scenario for my parents.
This process has been stressful, as you can imagine. In thinking about this, I realized that it has been similar to decision-making for a pet. (Now - don't get offended! I'm not comparing my parents to my pets! But... the process is quite similar!) Take for instance my Henry cat. I've had to make some decisions for him based on a diagnosis of liver disease. I've done a lot of internet research and reading to find out more about this. It isn't something that I knew very much about.
I learned a lot about options and what I might do to help Henry. And based on what I learned from my research and my vet's input, I made the decisions that I thought would work best not only for Henry, but for our whole family. They might not be the same decisions that you would make for your pet, and that's OK. It's the same thing with my parents. I have helped them make the decisions that seem like the best thing for them given their situation. My siblings don't all agree with these decisions, but through communication, they've all (I think!) come to realize that they don't have to agree, but need to respect the final decisions.
It's been a valuable lesson for me to really think about this in a way that is more familiar to me. Making decisions for my pets is something that I've done for many years now, and I've learned a lot about what works for me in this process. Making decisions for aging parents is new to me, but I think if I remember that this process is similar, it takes away some of the stress and "scariness".
Have you thought about how your decision-making with your pets can have positive effects on other processes in your life? (photo from istockphoto.com)
--Tammy
(P.S. As you read this, I am actually at my parents' house helping them with finalizing decisions and details, with the help of one of my brothers. Send out a good thought for my family if you will! Mike is home taking care of the cats. Hopefully, he and Henry can come to some agreement about medication time!)




