During the 20 years I was a veterinary grief counselor at the Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital, I talked with hundreds of pet parents AFTER their pets had died. Though Tammy isn't a counselor, but in her role as administrative assistant for the Argus Institute, she also talked with many pet parents calling for support after a pet died. Almost all of these pet parents had one thing in common.
They had regrets.
Some regretted that they had waited too long to euthanize their pets. Others regretted that they had euthanized their pets too quickly, without really thinking it through.
Some had regrets about how they had said that last, hard good-bye. Others regretted where their pets had been put down.
Many people regretted not including their children in the decisions about their pets' treatment and eventual euthanasia. And, one woman I talked with, regretted that she had tried to do the "right thing" by asking her ex-husband to be with her that day. He had arrived at the veterinary clinic with his girlfriend---the one who had broken up their marriage---and both of them had obviously had one too many glasses of wine! Needless to say, their presence during her dog's final moments made a difficult situation much, much worse.
Regrets are horrible companions. They intrude on your thoughts, tie your stomach in knots, and sometimes, depending on their impact and significance, alter the course of your life.
Most of us don't want to repeat the situation that caused us to have regrets in the first place.
So, in an attempt to avoid those situations, we might also avoid seeing the reality that lies before us. Attempting to avoid our feelings can make us behave in more daring or risky ways. Avoidance can also make us more timid and cautious about making decisions or confronting a problem.
At the VetWisdomCafé, we want to help you break out of any denial or avoidance patterns you may have and live life with your pets more consciously. That's why we're proclaiming 2011 the year of NO REGRETS!
We're passionate about encouraging you to find the best ways to truly enjoy life with your pets while you have them.
And, when you must face the end of those sweet relationships, we're also passinate about helping you prepare to say good-bye.
We know from years of experience and thousands of conversations with pet parents that it's best to prepare for that final good-bye BEFORE your pet dies.
Why?
Because, when you can find the courage and strength to face the reality of your pet's situation, you can do your homework, make the plans that are right for you, and provide your pet---and your family----with the kind of good-bye you all want and deserve.
This kind of preparation usually results in one very good thing....
No Regrets!
We hope you'll continue to join us this year at the VetWisdomCafé and tell us the ways you've found to truly enjoy life with your pets. We also hope you'll share the ways you've found to prepare yourself for life without them.
Visit us often at www.veterinarywisdomforpetparents.com to see the new resources and articles we'll be posting about Life with Pets without Regrets. You'll also find information and more about our community on Facebook, Twitter, and in our monthly VeterinaryWisdom® newsletter.
So, let's start the new year right now...what's your greatest regret about how a pet you loved died? (photo from bigstockphoto.com)
--Laurel and Tammy
Related articles you might find helpful:
8 Tips for Making Decisions for Your Pet
Five Comfort Conversations to Help You Cope With Pet Loss