This past week-end in Denver I lectured to a group of feline practitioners at their annual society meeting (AAFP). It was a fun time, a bit unusual, and a valuable learning experience. It was also the first time that I had ever lectured to veterinarians who work exclusively with cats.
The AAFP is committed to improving the lives of all domestic cats. They support cat advocacy programs and provide advanced medical continuing education for feline doctors. There are those in veterinary medicine who feel that cats are a bit under served when compared to dogs. While it's true that more people own dogs than cats, it's still very important for cat owners to have access to quality medical care.
As I spent time with this group, I started to realize that cat owners deal with some unique emotional issues. As we all know, cats and dogs are quite different as are some of their medical needs. Cats in general, tend to be more stoic than dogs. I've blogged about this stoicism before... but it bears repeating because many cat owners have a hard time knowing when their cat is in any pain. If owners cannot know for sure, there's always the potential for them to miss a serious illness or problem. This can translate into an immense amount of guilt when their cat dies.
Cats also also tend to have longer life spans that dogs (some live well past 15-16 years and a select few can live into their 20's!)" These longer life spans can create tremendously strong bonds as a person can literally "grow-up" with their cat. When people have relationships with their cats dating all the way back to childhood, their grief can feel quite overwhelming (they are not only grieving the cat's death, but they are grieving the end of an era as well).
What are some other emotions experienced by cat owners? Do you feel that any of these are quite different than for dog owners? I want to hear from all our cat lovers out there! (photo is of Tammy's cat Henry)
--Dana
I agree that I have very different relationships with my dogs and my cats. While I feel I have to do a lot more to care for my dogs, I think of my cats as being quite self-reliant and therefore almost more of a "peer" than like a "child." I find I go to one of my cats when I am in need of comfort or friendship, while I go to my dogs when I feel like 'playing' or being outdoors.
And, yes, I tend to take my dogs to the vet more regularly than my cats. I'm really not sure why...
Posted by: Laurel | November 10, 2009 at 10:54 AM
Laurel, I have heard many cat owners describe their relationships in a similar fashion...that they are "peers" instead of "children." This makes sense given that cats are more independent. I agree though, even if cats don't indicate something is wrong, it's important for them to get regular medical care.
Posted by: Dana | November 10, 2009 at 03:17 PM
I haven't had a dog as an adult. I grew up having dogs, and no cats. I always wanted a cat and my dad wouldn't allow it. So, when I was on my own, I went cat-crazy and haven't looked back! (I'm thinking a dog in our not to distant future would be nice, but who knows?!)
My cats have all been buddies. My Oscar boy is 13 now. I've had him since kittenhood. He still acts like a goofy kitten much of the time... he is also our grumpy old man though. He is the cat I've had the longest, and it will be a very sad day when he gets sick and/or dies. We (my husband and I) both talk to our cats - a lot actually. They are definitely companions to us. (They even "talk" back quite a bit!) I swear Oscar understands English. He even knows his name if we spell it! :)
Yep. I think maybe we are those crazy cat people. :)
Posted by: Tammy | November 10, 2009 at 03:29 PM
Tammy, go ahead and be cat crazy! We're all with you as well!
Posted by: Dana | November 11, 2009 at 11:52 AM
We got two cats as kittens when I was 4 years old. One lived until 16 years old, the other to 21. I certainly grieved the death of each of them, but the grief was nowhere near as difficult as the death of our dog Precious who we only had for 5 years when she passed.
There are certainly some complicating factors about Precious death that make it hard to compare, but I was quite surprised at the difference.
Sawdust the first of the cats to pass was a wonderful sweet loving cat his whole life and I really did grow up with him. Mittens the second to pass was a wonderful cat too, and she was a live for basically my whole life that I remembered until I was 25. But the bond I had with my two cats was very different in many ways than the bond I have/had with our dogs.
Ideally one should have both a cat and a dog, just tonight I got to play a bit with a neighborhood cat in my driveway and it reminded me of the joys of working as the staff for a cat, versus having to tend to the needs of a childlike dog:) Doing both is a good balance I think.
Posted by: Chris | November 11, 2009 at 09:37 PM
Chris...thanks for sharing stories about Sawdust and Mittens. It would make sense that your grief over their deaths is different from the grief over Precious's death. You had different bonds with them and as you said, the way in which Precious died was tremendously difficult.
By the way...I just love how you phrased this..."the joys of working as the staff for a cat"! How true!
Posted by: Dana | November 12, 2009 at 11:25 AM